There are not words to describe my mood lately. My heart oscillates between fullness: with memories, with friends, with the legacy I desire to create, with her; and fearful emptiness as I tremor at the possible paths my life could take at this juncture. What would have happened had I been healthy; who will I be when I become so? Isn't it likely that I'll be lonely forever, since I'm unwilling to settle for less than amazing? Are my principles worth eternal/nearly impenetrable solitude? Who could possibly even care that I have more inside me than the goofball almost all of them see? The facts of life are far less terrifying than the questions unanswerable by simple facts.
Aw, listen to me being all emo. (So cute!)Far be it from me to censor myself in my own expression space, but all this worry doesn't suit my devil-may-care attitude. She'd laugh at me if she saw me like this. Hell, I'm almost laughing myself. I know what I need: hot noodle soup and a hug, not all this addictive self-pitying shit. Maybe a coffee. The world will be better when it's back on track, playing itself into the palm of my hands. Because megalomania is always healthier than depression. *smile*
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